Seeing Too Much

Once upon a dead day, a scientist by the name of no one gives a shit, looked through a microscope. He was perplexed by the limitations of belittlement. So, he took to the skies instead to seek out his answer. He looked through a telescope and saw something that he wasn’t supposed to see, like the master key from God. Something that only the madmen would howl at into the cold night’s air, with breaths spewing out like locomotive’s waste.

He saw himself, you see. He saw a giant fractal of himself looking in on his cells. The giant, galaxy-sized version of himself looking in couldn’t focus on the telescope wielding scientist. He got frustrated, muttering something about looking to the skies. It was the scientist, moments ago. He discovered that there is no such thing as size, where everything in the universe can technically be the center. They sent him to a mental institute last night. Good thing that I didn’t remember his name. Imagine being interviewed by some government organization regarding this peculiar fellow. Who knows if what he said is actually the truth? Anyway, I’m gonna go catch myself real quick right past Saturn tonight, you wanna come?

“You remember the scientist?”

“The scientist? Who the fuck are you talking about?”

“You know! The fucking scientist…what other scientist do you know? The scientist!”

“Man, there are so many scientists! Be specific!”

“The scientist…you said it yourself! The one who lingers…lingered…around the college campus looking at the stars when there was ripe pussy right in front of him. Remember the guy? The weirdo astronomer dude?”

Kyle looked down and then nodded at Craig. “Yea, I remember that little stargazer.”

“Well, the fucker’s dead. Killed himself in that mental institute. Saw himself gazing down through an endless fractal, like the game Portal…over and over again, belittling himself. Shit’s fucked up, man.”

“Rad” replied Kyle, not knowing what else to say.

“Rad? Who the fuck says that anymore?”

“I dunno, seemed like the right thing to say…”

Craig lit a cigarette and took a crackling drag. “Wish this were weed.”

“What’s the point of all this?” asked Kyle, looking up at the stars, which winked back at him.

“What the fuck kind of question is that?”

“The most normal kind of question you can ask, if you have a brain…”

Craig looked back offended. “You sayin’ I ain’t got a brain?”

“I’m not saying anything…I’m asking you a question fucktard. What is the purpose behind all this?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know? Damn, wish this were weed…I’d answer that shit!”

“You need weed to answer that question? Seeing as how you’re here and I’m here, don’t you think that it should just be a straightforward answer? Something like, one plus one equals two? Why the mystery?”

Craig exhaled sharply. He was downright pissed. “You’re fucking annoying the shit outta me, you know that?” he snapped back at Kyle. “All I wanted to do was ask you about the scientist who killed himself. It was a fast question about a corpse, not a gateway to some fundamental lifechanging shit!”

“Lifechanging? What has changed? Someone else has died. Congratulations…that happens every second that passes by…” Kyle looked over at Craig. “You got another cigarette?”

Craig produced one from his pocket. “I felt him passing…” said Craig as he handed Kyle the cigarette dryly.

“You felt him? Inside you or what?” laughed Kyle.

“In the larger consciousness, dingbat! I felt him join the darkness…”

Kyle opened the car door with the unlit cigarette pursed between his lips. He was ready to abandon his childhood friend for just this comment. To make matters worse, he continued with some biblical shit.

“You think that the serpent which seduced Adam and Eve, was Adam’s cock?”

“What!” Kyle raised his eyebrow, then started laughing profusely.

“Think about it! A serpent seduces them into some act that they’ve never undertaken before. An act that is frowned upon and secretive, like fucking in the backseat of a car. Maybe the serpent was erect, and Eve couldn’t resist but taking a little nibble of it…”

“Shut up. Man, you’re so stupid!” replied Kyle, gesturing Craig for a lighter. Craig produced the scraped-up Bic from his pocket. “Wish this were weed,” said Kyle, taking that first stinging drag. “So, the scientist is dead…now what?”

Craig looked up to the stars, blinking back at him through atmospheric interference. “Makes you think is all. Why is it all black? Why haven’t our eyes evolved to really see what’s out there? Maybe we weren’t meant to see.”

“But…he saw,” replied Kyle taking another drag. “He saw himself. He saw a metaphor gazing back through the blackened abyss. A timelessness which swirls and encircles itself, trailing the remnants of some gaseous tail.”

Craig puckered his lips, something he did when he was in deep thought. “Are you talking about a black hole!” asked Craig, surprised that Kyle had joined him on this epic journey of free-flowing thought.

“Are you a man?”

“No” replied Kyle with his eyes closed. “I’m a fish with a tail…and fins that double as feet…ready to come out of the ocean and take that first step of life’s forward movement.”

“Forward movement…forward movement is all we’ve ever had. You think our future selves will look back at us as ancestors, just like how we look at Lucy, the oldest hominid skeleton?” asked Craig, closing his eyes as well.

“No. I don’t think that there will be many more generations to come. I think that we will end up like Venus…carbon infested, unable to rid ourselves of the destructive molecule…like obese people trying to lose weight. Pointless…”

“That’s fucking harsh, you know that?” said Craig with a smirk. “What do you think the scientist really saw?”

Kyle exhaled a horrible cough. “Himself. That’s all you really need to be terrified of in this world. Yourself…on a platter, heart beating, exposed to the world…but more importantly, your nature will continue.”

Craig nodded. “I wish this were weed.”